


Spiral

by literati42



Category: Batman (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Robin (Comics)
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Batfam Week 2018, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, Gen, Hurt Tim Drake, Tim Drake-centric, mentions batman - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-19 06:07:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15503970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literati42/pseuds/literati42
Summary: For Batfam Week 2018 day 1: TrappedTim Drake knows what it feels like to be trapped, sometimes even in his own head.





	Spiral

**Author's Note:**

> For Batfam Week 2018: Trapped.  
> I am late to the party, so this is a short one, but there are more to come
> 
> Note: Descriptions of panic attacks

There is more than one way to be trapped. I know this better than most. Once, I was trapped suspended upside down from a crane hanging over the world’s most polluted river. I was trapped by Lady Shiva in a near-death pinch to teach me about fighting. One trap, far from intentional, ended with me falling through an actual mineshaft. It is really not the surprise that gets you. It’s not even the pain or injuries. It is the absolute powerlessness when control is entirely stripped out of my hands. I know a lot about being trapped.  
Sometimes the trap is not physical or even visible. Sometimes the trap is not set by the enemy or part of training. Sometimes, neurotransmitters fire across the synapses of my brain in a cascade of spiraling, darkness. Sometimes the trap lives inside me.  
It always starts, like now, with a tingling in the back of my neck. It creeps in both directions, up my spine and across my brain, spreading. The thoughts spin next. My hands shake over the keyboard. I blink hard trying to make my eyes stay focused on the cameras I am hacking into. I hear Bruce in my ear, his baritone hitting me across the coms. I know he wants results, but the words seem faded and tinny.  
“Why are you wasting everyone’s time, Drake,” Damian’s voice cuts in. I can hear the sound of the little ball of fury fighting a room full of ninjas. They need the schematics yesterday if they are going to win this fight.  
My breathing speeds up next. It is too shallow. I try to slow it, and with it, my thoughts, but both are out of control. I am trapped, trapped in the brokenness of my brain. If they knew, if they knew how broken I am…  
“Who’s injured?” Dick’s voice is the next in my ear. “I hear you breathing…” Dick, always worries for everyone. He needs to focus on the fight, and I need to focus on my job. If I do not get it together, someone is going to get hurt. Hostages could die. My family could die. No. I have to focus. “Everyone, report in!” Dick’s voice is urgent. I can’t answer. I reach for coffee to steady me but knocked it off the desk. The mug shatters, and what is left of my control splinters. I am up.  
Before I take two steps, there are arms around me. The arms pull me to a strong chest. I am held. I do not know when I started crying, but when I open my eyes, they are blurred with tears. Jason, his hair standing on all ends from removing his helmet, is looking down at me. “I have you,” he says for me. “No one is injured,” he says for them.  
“I have to…”  
“Not this one,” Jason says, his arms not budging, “I have you,” he says again.  
“The schematics…”  
“Oracle’s on it. And Cass just went to give back up.” Jason pulls off my coms. “I have you, little brother.” I do not fight anymore. I know what it feels like to be trapped. Trapped by criminals and trapped by my own mind. Here, though the grip on me is firm, I am not trapped. This is not a trap, this is home.


End file.
